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How to Raise a Rock & Roll Kid
As parents, we're well aware of all the pitfalls that await our children: drugs...online predators...smooth jazz.
Still, we want, above all, for our kids to someday turn into Kick-Ass Grownups themselves. And that ain't gonna happen by locking them in the house and spoon-feeding them happy thoughts.
In this thread, let's kick around some ideas about how to raise a rock and roll kid. Someone who will attain what every Kick-Ass Grownup parent truly wants for their child: to be cooler than we are.
Here are some ideas to get the ball rolling:
Let Them Have Their Own Music. I know you want nothing more than to sit your kid down and pump her full of your favorite music. Rather than wasting all that time texting, she should be listening to Radio City by Big Star and breaking down the chord structures! I hear you, but that ain't gonna work.
Your bands are your bands. Your kid needs artists to call his or her own. Accept that, and encourage it -- even if you have to hold back the scathing criticism your inner rock snob has for the bands they choose.
And then, do your best to understand why these artists are connecting with your kid. I recently spent a few days on a road trip with my 14 year old son Matt, during which time we listened to almost nothing but his music. Now, sure, some it set my teeth on edge. But, as it turned out, I really started liking quite a bit more it than I expected.
Slip In Some Education, But Be Cool About It. Listening to your kids' fave artists gives you the opportunity to introduce them to the music you love by putting it in context. Does he like The Dropkick Murphys? Play him some Stiff Little Fingers. Green Day fan? The she needs to hear The Clash. Into hip-hop? Crank up some James Brown. Hardcore Kenny G lover? Military school.
Let Them Pick Their Own Instrument...and Then Spring For Some Lessons. While I thought it would be cool if my son picked up an instrument, I never forced anything on him. I simply took him to music stores and let him mess around until he found what interested him. When he discovered the drums, the deal was sealed. We bought him a kit from a pawn shop and let him bang around on his own. Then, when it was clear he was serious, we got him lessons.
In doing that, we tried something I suggest you consider: rather than finding a traditional drum teacher, we asked a local musician we know -- who's both a kick-ass drummer and a fun, lighthearted guy -- to teach Matt. He'd never taught drums to anyone before, so he simply chose to come in, show Matt some cool stuff and have a good time for a half hour every week. It's worked really well, as Matt looks forward to his time hanging with his drummer buddy more than he might something more structured and traditional. That's his personality, of course. Your own kid might be best suited for a pro teacher. Try it both ways.
Take Them To Shows! Nothing drives home a love of music like seeing it live. Take every opportunity to bring your kid to a rock show. Check with local clubs to find out when they have all-ages gigs, so they can experience music up close and personal. Then take 'em to a big arena show, preferably one with lots of flash and excitement. And if a festival is coming that features some of your young un's favorite acts, take them. You'll have a great chance to bond and to learn about the music they love.
Matt at Warped Tour's "Rock the Block" Concert, June, 2010
Don't Freak Out About Clothes, Hair or Over The Top Imagery. On our road trip, Matt and I attended a Warped Tour event, loaded with bands he loves. And yeah, the girls dressed kinda trashy and the yes, the guys wore t-shirts with all sorts of less than charitable messages on them and sure, the bands dropped f-bombs like candy. But everyone I encountered -- almost all of whom were between the ages of 12 and 20 -- was polite, friendly and intent on having a good time. There was way less hostility and testosterone floating around than I remember from my days as a young rocker. In other words.....
The Kids Are (Still) Alright. My day at Warped Tour made me especially happy because of one thing: these kids were crazy passionate about the music and the bands who played it. I expected a jaded audience of slack jawed teens, texting busily and using the event as an opportunity to hook up. Instead, I witnessed energized and engaged music fans who knew all the words, sang along and allowed themselves to be lifted to that special place music can take you. These are kids who will take good care of rock and roll.
OK, your turn. How are you raising rock and roll kids?
Views: 106
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by James A. Gardner on -
Great article. My wife and I are fortunate enough to have two great rock and roll kids, who play together in a band with one of our rock and roll nephews.
While I agree about my bands being mine, not theirs (and I, too, have gotten to like some of their favorites), the music my wife and I love was always available, and usually playing. Consequently, they developed a love for Hendrix, the Beatles--a lot of the bands and artists I would have chosen for them--on their own. Our right handed guitarist kid bought himself a left-handed white Strat; he's that much a Hendrix fan.
The music lessons . . . Best. Investment. Ever.
We took them to see Dylan in concert, and Alice Cooper, and made it possible for them to see shows of their choosing, also very good investments.
And one of my best musical memories in 30+ years of playing was last year, when our elder son played bass for the last show of my previous band:
You don't expect these kinds of dividends . . . sure nice to receive them.
Thanks for writing and posting this article.
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Permalink Reply by Jon Bard on -
Very cool James! Just keep the lighter fluid away from your Hendrix-loving son. (Unless you've got a big guitar budget available)
One of the things we want to do here is create a section where members can post videos and mp3s from their kids' bands. In fact, when we start doing Tribe gatherings, we want to include "offspring" bands in the mix for live entertainment.
Gotta keep passing on the rock and roll virus!
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Permalink Reply by Jon Bard on
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What a great Pic, Eric!
We're going to see Green Day ourselves next month. Should be a good time.
I
Posted a pic of myself, one of my sons, and my daughter, all of us in different Led Zepplelin shirts. It's one of my favorite pictures.
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Permalink Reply by Mike Fitzpatrick on -
Agree with you completely. my son is almost 6 and has had an ear for music for the last year or so.... his faves are Misfits, Ramones, Kiss, Queen, Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros (his fave right now is Bhindi Bhagee)... and..... Lady Gaga... i agree with the gateway to Kiss, Queen, Elton John.....
JamieF said:Don't worry too much about Lady Gaga, Will. You're right, it's danceable, but she can actually play piano really well and she knows how to dress for success. She might be the gateway for Kiss, Elton John or Queen.
Will Withem said:I am working with my 8 year old to expose her to as many different types of music as possible. She seems to react to the Beatles, the Ramones, Johnny Cash, Social D, The White Stripes and the Zac Brown Band. We're off to a good start. She also says she "kinda" likes Lady Gaga, I have to bite my tongue on that one. At least you can shake your ass to it.
It's a fun journey so far.
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Permalink Reply by Mike Fitzpatrick on
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Took the whole family to see Kiss this past weekend. my son is almost 6 and my daughter just turned 11. They had a blast and we've been playing more cds this week that prior that's for sure. live music (preferably that with 'flash') is indeed a great way of exposing the young uns to the glories of music.
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Permalink Reply by Billy Miller on -
OK- I take my 8th grade class to San Francisco every spring to expose them to different cultures besides our little Aspen mountain bubble. Last year we rented a couple vans and headed down the coast to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and I let them make a playlist for the trip down as long as I could make one for the trip home- fair deal right. I played this video at graduation and luckily dodged the question from a few parents "How were you filming and driving at the same time?!?"
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Permalink Reply by Billy Miller on
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We all seem to agree that going to shows with our kids is a good thing. It's even better when you work for the club, load in the bands gear, talk to the lads after soundcheck, and get their manager to throw in a few Tshirts for your kids. Then the best...
I told my daughter to go thank the tour manager for the shirts during the encore. Well he threw a tamborine in her hand and put her onstage. She'll remember that night for the rest of her life, especially the hug from Cam (I'm pretty sure this video is posted on her Facebook page too)... do ya think?!?
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Permalink Reply by Roy Anderson on -
I'm going to send these kids over to beat Justin Beiber's ass. This ROCKS!
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Permalink Reply by Billy Miller on
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Just like AC/DC- solid rhythm. That girl on drums keeps nice time. I'm showing this to my kids right now. My thoughts are that it isn't just about learning the instruments, but also WANTING to perform on stage. I am not the best musician out there, but i absolutely love performing, even when I am playing drums in the pit for our school musical. My daughter seems to really like getting on stage, my son not so much.
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Permalink Reply by Roy Anderson on
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The Watts
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Permalink Reply by Roy Anderson on
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Tom Petty and Mike Campbell stokes a 14yr old kid. Great story!http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129364252
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Permalink Reply by Emily Plunkett on -
This is a great article. I would like to add at least one small warning from the perspective of a youngun' vet: if your kid wants to seriously wishes to learn music and is having problems in other areas of school, please do not withold the music lessions! Although my parents supported me when I did take on music as a focus throughout high school (when I had the freedom to choose my courses), in the early years, they (and my teachers) tended to withold lessions or opporunities to learn when I began to have trouble in math. It was either learn the math or there was no choir, recorder club, etc, at recess. Not that most parents wouldn't dissagree with this, as it's a lession in disapline and I'm fairly certain it would work alongside other extra ciricular activities (sports, social commities, etc). But my reality is that once I did start learning music on a more consistant basis, math came a Hell of a lot easier especially once I was able to make the logical connection between theory and fractions. Not to mention, I was completely miserable without the music lessions and my drive to want to be at school was completely gone, which would then effect my ablility to want to understand math. When the balance was there, I was 100% at school and was 100% interested in learning beyond the music lessions. Bottom line: music is too benefitial to other subjects to regard as a frivalious activity!
Also, about finding a music teacher: I always found that referals were the best way for me to find teachers that were suited to my personality and needs as a musician. When I first took piano lessions, I think my parents took me to the first place they thought of. The teachers were great at the time, but later on it would become difficult for me to click with their style of teaching. (It was very by the book, and when you want to learn rock and jazz, you need to think outside the classical theory!) When I got to high school, after a year of learning bass on my own, my teacher recommended an old friend of his as someone I could work with me on my technique. (My high school music teacher was a saxaphonist and didn't really know how to play anything outside of the brass and woodwind sections, so he always referred his budding rhythm players to others.) So my mom drove me to meet up with this guy Gary - who ended up being the one of the primary songwritters on the title track of this album and who's teaching style was extremely complementary to what I was learning in school. (My high school teacher taught me how to swing, Gary taught me how to rock!) Of course, later on when I was out of school and still attending guitar lessions on the side of college, I had to quit lessions with Gary because he couldn't read music; but with further recommendation from theatre friends, I found my last teacher, Glenn, who has a BA in music from the University of Wales and immediately started in with a lession surrounding "Let it Be" when I made the breif mention that I'm a Beatle fan. The only reason I quit taking lessions with Glenn is because I moved away from my hometown. So yeah, ask around before deciding who teaches your kids how to play - and make sure to be open to change if the teacher and kid don't click. :)
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